Roommates #1: All-Nighter

I’d give this a B minus. It’s well-written, but the first half drags. I don’t really relate to Sam: even in the 80s, I never knew anyone that conservative, and as I’ve said below, she’s not plausible for the demographic she’s supposed to be from. If this had been a standalone, I probably would have forgotten about it pretty quick. But the series picks up speed in the next installments.

“College life the way it REALLY is.” Maybe. I thought Freshman Dorm was the most realistic, but of course that came later. RM had a very conservative tone, but Campus Fever was so melodramatic sometimes. So much nastiness. And the characters had such heavy names: Trevlyn, Woyzek, Orsini. In RM, it’s Hill, Conklin, Davies and Swanson. And later, Martin, Jones for heaven’s sake, Anderson and Perelli (ooh, ethnic!). Overall, this was, while not quite real life as I knew it, more relatable than CF. Other people must have thought the same, because there were twenty installments, while CF only had eight.

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Samantha Hill, another naive midwesterner, is a freshman at Hawthorne College, about an hour outside Atlanta, GA. I think whoever wrote this had no clue about life in the heartland; more details later.  Sam is tall, blonde/blue, fair and freckled. Someone in a later book describes her as “more all-American than Christie Brinkley.” 

We skip the arrival on campus and orientation to cut right to Suite 2C, Rogers House, where we also meet outrageous Roni Davies (from Atlanta), conservative, pre-med Terry Conklin (Philadelphia), and elegant Stacy Swanson (Boston). Stacy arrives wearing a linen suit and snakeskin pumps — good grief! Like one of my college roommates: swanning around in a dress on move-in day while the rest of us wore jeans or shorts. 

Sam is the oldest of five. She has eeeeeeverything planned out: she’ll major in English, get a teaching certificate, and marry Jon Mayer. They’ve been a couple since early sophomore year, perfectly compatible, they even look alike. They’ve also never consummated; later, Sam will think about “all the times she and Jon had pulled apart.” This relationship? Is doomed. More than one character agrees. Yet it’s “unimaginable” to Sam that either of them could get involved with someone else. 

The first half is mostly repetition on the theme of Sam finding out that things are not going to work out precisely the way she’s planned them. I have to admire her work ethic, though. She had planned to jog every morning, which she does, but when it interferes with getting washed and changed before class, she gets up earlier. Dang! She’s not bombing anything, like Cathy in CF, but the curriculum sure is different. Sounds like her high school was conservative, and this is fairly liberal. She’s not as irritating as Cathy, but the gee-whiz attitude does get to me. Honey, it’s college: of course it’s different. What would be the point if it was like high school? And what would be the point of going to college out of state if the culture wasn’t different from back home? 

There are some highlights, like a convocation where Sam wears her (probably Gunne Sax) prom gown and Stacy puts her hair up for her and lends her pearls. Stacy herself throws on something designer; Terry wears a frumpy sack, and Roni knocks everyone sideways by being the height of fashion if it was 1944 (rolled hair, suit with padded shoulders, white gloves). She’s a tall, stunning redhead, so she’s a huge hit. I remember the convocation at my first college, where we all had to sign The Book, whatever that was I don’t remember. Anyway, that being 1988, with the first rumblings of grunge, we were all trying to take it to extremes. I wore a faux-Edwardian gown, and others wore Ren Faire garb, grandpa’s tuxedo, and like that. But the person I really remember was the guy who wore a Confederate Army uniform. (Well, the jacket and cap, anyway.) Try doing that today! 

Anyway, Sam is all shined up, and guys are hitting on her right and left. She turns them all down, including one guy we’ll get to later, and Stacy sneers at her — what is she, a virgin? Yes, and “so there.” (Seriously.) Later, Stacy apologizes and Sam accepts, but clearly, they’re wired very differently. Stacy is high strung and “gets bent out of shape too easily,” as Terry puts it. And Sam seems to think that she should get exactly as much out of life as she puts into it. Yeah…

Also, there’s sorority rush. Terry doesn’t have the time of the money. Roni has BT, DT, and although it’s not stated, it would be a waste of time, because she’d get kicked out sooner or later for her outrageous behavior. Sam and Stacy both rush, and are chosen to pledge, Alpha Pi Alpha, henceforth known as APA. Sam gets in because she’s a legacy, and Stacy gets in because she’s awesome. Despite the fact that Stacy thinks the sororities are “all just as boring.” She has a pattern of disdaining everything she does, but not coming up with an alternative.

Sam’s favorite class is Political Science. Of course: she’s never had to question anything before, and now she’s getting woke. And it’s especially interesting because there are so many different people in it. Like, uh, Aaron Goldberg, a junior, one of the guys she met at the tea. (I have to wonder what he was doing at a freshman event. On the prowl?) New Yorker, very forward, crooked teeth, taller than Sam. And boy, is he woke. But he puts his money where his mouth is, as we’ll see in later books. Anyway, he’s always turning up, and Stacy takes one look at him and swoons. 

So, Poli Sci. They’re doing a section on the politics of food, which is a new concept to Sam. Dammit, how can she be from a farm community and not know what a joke it is how little farmers earn? And this was published during the farm foreclosure crisis! Anyway, they have a project. For the following week, they’re going to be on the Third World diet. Rice and beans and occasionally fish. It’s only the lunches that are obligatory, but Professor Lewis suggests they make it a 24/7 thing (one week only). Sam is the first to agree to do this, then Aaron seconds it. The kickoff is dinner Saturday night, at Prof. Lewis’s house. Sam has to skip a sorority party to be there, which does not go over too well. Aaron has a brother in the Peace Corps (I forget if that’s continuity), and he has all kinds of enlightening ideas to share. He also asks Sam out. It’s hard to say no, but she does, without mentioning Jon. And without writing to him that night; she’d rather think about Aaron. 

Later in the week, Stacy joins the poverty-meals table in the dining hall. Mostly so she can look starry-eyed at Aaron, but also, as we’ll later find out, because fasting is nothing new to her. 

Then it’s homecoming week, which means more APA parties. (Sam doesn’t understand why couples keep going upstairs.) Then homecoming Saturday. Each suite in Rogers House is supposed to host a party with a theme of some foreign country; 2C is assigned Australia. But first, the homecoming game. Stacy wants them all to wear skirts and sweaters. Sam gives in so easily, I want to smack her. I would have said, “Sure, Ms. Gotbux, when I have to take my skirt and sweater to the cleaners to remove the mustard, beer and random dirt on them, YOU can pay the bill!” Also, Hawthorne colors are yellow and green. Blaugh. 

And then the party. Roni saw to it that their Down-Under punch really sends people down under, even though they’d been told NO BOOZE. Sam gets mellow talking to Aaron, agrees to go for a walk with him, and wakes up in the small hours no longer a virgin. Finally something to break up the repetition of “Gee, things aren’t turning out exactly the way I planned.” Also, it’s slightly rapey. Sam doesn’t know she’d been drinking alcohol, but Aaron later says he “knew damn well”. He also says “Hey, that’s my dorm,” and Sam takes the bait. 

Sam’s biggest regret is that she was saving her first time for Jon, and now that won’t happen. She’s betrayed him and spoiled her own dream. This is basically the biggest example of how all her plans prove unworkable in a new environment, and all her beliefs are being challenged. (In one of her phone convos with Jon, she tells him that ever since she arrived on campus, she seems to have been looking at the world upside down.)

And it gets worse. When she gets back to 2C, she’s somewhat ticked off at Roni for spiking the punch, and when Terry says “What about J—“ Sam breaks down crying. And to cap it off, Stacy is spitting mad, because she’s the one who invited Aaron to the party, so she’s not speaking to Sam for quite a while. Poor Stacy; this may be the first time she didn’t get something she wanted.

Sam is determined not to tell Jon about this — there’s no need, since she sees it as a one-time error. Sad irony, though: she’s so confused now, she needs Jon to get her through this — the one problem she can’t discuss with him! And she thinks she won’t have to talk to him for a couple of weeks, but guess what. He calls, needing to clear his conscience because he met a girl and wanted to kiss her, even though he didn’t. So they’re okay to see other people now, right? Uh…

After numerous unreturned calls, Sam agrees to meet Aaron in The Eatery. She doesn’t blame him for what happened; if there’s any blame, she puts it on the alcohol. (But she also doesn’t blame Roni for supplying the alcohol.) I’unno. I guess unless you’re attending Bob Jones or Brigham Young, someplace conducive to celibacy, being a virgin on a college campus is being a ticking time bomb. Unfamiliar circumstances, more temptation…unless there’s a built-in failsafe, it’s nigh impossible to maintain chastity. 

Aaron says “I should have made sure that you knew what you were doing, instead of talking myself into believing you did.” Remember this in a later book. He wants them to keep seeing each other, and doesn’t understand why she says “I can’t.” See, she wants to resume celibacy, and she doesn’t think she can stay chaste while dating or even hanging out with a guy she’s already slept with. Which does make sense. 

Back to Poli Sci. Instead of a midterm exam, there will be a midterm project. They will divide into groups, and they have to plan and carry out “an action project that will demonstrate the principles of effective political action, the moral uses of power.” A guy called Alex appoints himself the leader in Sam’s group, and his plan is to stage a protest. The board of trustees are having a meeting, and Alex wants them to divest their South African holdings (this was, of course, during apartheid). He says it’s “a guaranteed A”, but it’s also guaranteed attention. 

I wouldn’t say the protest got out of hand, exactly, but a) they all got arrested and b) turns out, during the trustees’ meeting, they voted to divest their South African holdings. Sam has a spasm the whole time she’s in the security office; seems she’s never been in any kind of trouble before in her entire life. She did not resist arrest, so she’s got one less charge against her. But she should have read the handbook, instead of assuming the others knew what they were doing. “How is anyone supposed to know the difference,” the security chief asks,  “between a class project and a ‘real’ demonstration?” Good point. But I wonder what this guy would think of flash mobs? 

And this is where Sam is foolish, IMO. If she’d read the student handbook, she would have known that they needed a permit to use a PA system, and that where they were was not one of the designated places to assemble. Now, I can understand her no-sex policy, but early on, Sam claims to “[pride] herself on getting to the top by following all the rules.” Apart from the fact that that doesn’t always work — sometimes you have to game the system if you’re going to get ahead — she should be kicking herself for not having read the handbook. Y’know, the one that’s full of rules? 

Sam is really down after this. Roni observes, “You’re human after all…Sam Hill can sleep late and cut class…and be a grump in the morning.” Out of nowhere, Stacy offers to call her father, who is a lawyer, and ask his advice. Then Aaron calls (he wasn’t in her group) to tell her Alex set up a lot of it: got his friends to start chanting, and called security to make sure they’d show up. 

And Sam made the front page of the campus paper again! (The first time was for the Third World diet challenge.) APA does not approve, especially since Sam is only a pledge. The officers decided (without asking Sam for her side of it) to reserve judgment until the dean made his decision. Which Sam calls out as hypocritical. During rush, the APA prez had said “We’re live-and-let-live.” But she’d meant alcohol and opposite-sex guests. Protesting is another matter, my deah. The prez says she’ll have to change her ways if she wants to be an APA member, so Sam resigns, figuring that if they give ultimatums, they’re not worth it. 

Then she calls Jon, wanting to tell him about this, and is told “He’s out with his girlfriend.” Okay, he doesn’t think of Li as his girlfriend; that’s a conclusion his roommate jumped to. Still, it’s clear that they both have to have lives that consist of more than just filling in time between letters and phone calls. 

The other roommates go with Sam to the dean’s office. Well, Stacy has to be dragged there; she’s still sitting on a tack about Aaron. Roni is dressed conservatively*; she must have borrowed from someone, or maybe it’s the one ladylike outfit her parents insisted she bring. Dr. Lewis is there too, and so is Aaron. Sam gets all charges dropped! Also, Stacy booked out as soon as Aaron showed up. 

Somehow, Sam and Aaron work it out that they can date without having sex, at least not yet. Sam still loves Jon, but she’s not devoted like she used to be. Basically, the world doesn’t make sense, so forget all these rigid rules. 

And Stacy commits an act of desperation. She gets her hair cut super short, dyes it weird colors, and gets a kind of designer-punk outfit. But she’s sooooo unhappy. She doesn’t want to be looked up to and envied, she wants to be loved, the way people love Sam. To be continued…

I do have to hand it to this series for starting right off with a main character having Teh Sex. IIRC, it happens once in CF, and I think never (onscreen) in FD. 

*And it’s interesting that both this and the first CF culminate in a visit to the dean’s office, and that, like Roni, Rachel in CF is dressed conservatively. “Different camouflage for different wars.” Also, Cathy and Sam both get unintentionally drunk and have to deal with their first hangover. (Although Cathy bounces back PDQ as soon as someone mentions shopping.)

We’ll see more of Aaron, naturally. He’s an SJW before we had the term, which I don’t mind so much, but what I do mind is how he basically thinks anywhere that’s not NYC is “not the real world”. Yeah right. I’d like to see him bust his ass all spring and summer planting and tending a crop, only to have a tornado wipe it out right before harvest time. But in one convo with Sam, he opines, “…we have shiny kitchen floors just so people can sell us floor wax.” Sam agrees that “…maybe we have television just so that people can sell us kitchen floors and floor wax.” I hate to admit it, but it kinda does work that way. 

Sam has to borrow a sophisticated outfit from Stacy, for rush week, and a slinky dress from Roni, for a more rowdy APA party. There’s a lot of borrowing in this series, and not much keeping of accounts, which will also come up later.

Foreshadowing: Stacy is model-thin and is hardly ever seen eating, but apparently binged on cookies while Sam was out. She also sleeps with a stuffed rabbit, so we know the ice princess has a soft side. When Sam calls Roni on the spiked punch, her defense is that other suites were doing it too, and “…[to really crack down] they’d have to expel the whole dorm.” So Roni likes to drink, eh? And so does Terry’s father, because Terry mixes up a hangover cure for Sam that she’s made for her father “a lot of times.”

Also, a bit of a continuity error. On the first day, Roni plans to hitchhike to the mall (how does she know where it is?), which presumes she doesn’t own a car. In later books, she supposedly has a phantom car that’s always in the shop. It’ll finally show up at the start of sophomore year: a convertible, of course.  

Lewisboro, as described, does not sound like a farm town. It sounds more like a suburb. And some things don’t make sense unless Sam is from a fundie community. Two kids breaking into backyard sheds is a crime wave? Suburb. No alcohol at parties? Fundie. Well, we’re tossed the bone of one party she went to where “they’d all poured themselves some Scotch.” Which does not compute: the one party that was not dry would have been a huge event, not something to be mentioned casually. Sam and Jon resisting sex multiple times sounds like they made a pledge. Not just “We’re not ready,” but “We made a promise to a higher power.” Sam is aghast at Roni’s mention of hitchhiking, because she was raised to never, never do that, “even if your car broke down.” So that would mean a suburb, because in a farm community, if you’re stranded, sooner or later someone you know will come along, and you can get a ride with them. 

Aaron’s description of NYC includes people at the opera house “transformed by the music”. Surely he means “transfixed” or “transported”? Music can’t physically change people, however good it is. At the dorm party, Roni uses Sam’s wastebasket, “carefully scrubbed, of course,” as a punch bowl. Uchhhhhhh.

There’s an abrupt code-switch in the series. The first three books had a smaller, more delicate font, which meant more words to the page. Also, the “author” was Susan Blake, and after 3, it was Alison Blair. So when those changes happen, the tone changes slightly. Not jarringly, but definitely a faster pace.